The place i fear the most is the place i have to go see the truth

Edit/ I feel better, my thoughts have distracted.
Nah, you dont have to read this. It's rant.

Yet I want to see the truth, but i dont know what is before me. Have you felt that you are seriously the dumbest person on Earth. Like wtf, i am stupid. I am the so called 'the pot calling the kettle black' did I say that phrase correctly? I remember i scolded Vien for signing a stupid contract, then what about me? DIDNT I do the same thing? Signing the damn contract that left me to suffer quietly. I am slightly claustrophobic, feeling tied down by a damn contract. Yknow why I am so affected by the damn contract even if i didnt have to pay the friggin 200 bucks? Because I just realize that my friends get to enjoy the holidays while I still have to work. But ugh, seriously. My job felt quite pressurizing because it seems like they expect alot from me. :/ Like, I didnt have enough pressure from last time. SERIOUSLY? Like the feeling of, being demoralized, like going back to school.

I swear, really I've got issues on my hands i just want to scream it all out, or just cry. Like i dont know, but i never liked going for those tuition centre, and i am working at one. Its like i prefer having a 1 to 1 tuition at my place, then going to the tuition centre, feeling like all the smart people there, staring at how this stupid girl is here. YKNOW WHAT I MEAN? I dont know how to describe the feeling. :/ I felt so small in thee place where I work at. I rather type out worksheets for them, than to sell the stupid centre or pick out phone calls. What is it that i can really enjoy? Why is it that i am complaining? No, i have no rights. Cause i signed the damn contract. Yes, call me stupid and dumb. Like why the hell did I do it? Fuck.