I've told myself a thousand times from the ashes we will rise

It's already March. Can you believe it? We have 9 more months till year ends. Haha. :) Okay. So, every night i stay up late, always forgetting that I have work later in the evening, and I have to remind myself. So stupid, i start work when everybody else ends work. Sian. :/ Work today was boring, well at least i didnt have to do sales or pick up stupid parents phone calls. WOOHOO. IT'S 3.25 NOW. FML. I need to sleep. :/ Gotta wake up early. Like 12?

What do you think of before you sleep? I think of impossibilities, things that might not even happen. Fyeah. Things that are sensitive. I rant in my head. Its the only place no one can intrude. Fyeah. :) After ranting, i go by this "tsk!!!" hahahaha, annoyed sounds. :) However these impossibilities are bullshit, so i wont use those in real life. I think of what happen after someone dies. Or think why is that person like that. Or think of how am I going to survive in school where is a totally new place w no friends i know. Anti social behaviors, i wont deny. I am freaking worried. I want to lose weight, i wanna be pretty and wear nice clothes. BUT WHY cant I actually get the freaking strength and willpower to even do so. I dont know. I realize i dont think deep enough and mostly think on the surface. Like sometimes, when my friends are in trouble. They have their views, i mean i do have. But not in depth neither is it a good one. I hardly have those kind of views. Yet, i felt so selfish that i cannot help them in any better. Yet, i feel so freaking useless. Like why am I in this world. Time and time, i wish of death. But no, i dont want to die. Freak, so emo. -.- wtf. I need to think deep deep and hard enough. What are the things I like? What the the things I hate? What are the things I need to change? What are the things I need to do? Why? What? You know. I think of all these freaking things. I find it stupid. But yet, it's important. I gotta be decisive. Independent, but I. Am. Not.

Now Vien, now yknow what are the freaking things I actually think about. Theres more, but also not much. Self conflicts, yknow?
And Tm, now you get the updates.

Hell yeah. I am going to sleep now. It's 3.33AM.

I wanna meet my friends. I am sick of people making last decisions and sick of people backing out at the very last minute. NOT COOL MAN. NOT FRIGGIN COOL. :(

I want to go back bangkok. ASAP. Shop till i drop. :/ I wannt go back there again. I wish i have all the money in the world. Hahahah, if you cant follow my thoughts, well i am just typing whatever crap thats in my mind. :/ I feel like puking, screw you milo and the digestive system. I need to pass motion (nicer way of saying shit okay) very badly, like a freaking constipation. -.- FML. Oh yeah, cool that Mcs (Macs) had a 1-1. So after work, I had Mcs for dinner with Mum, Dad and Bro. 1 for 1 yknow 1-1. CRAP. It's 2 burgers for the price of one. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. Like a double mcspicy, i bought 2 but pay one time price ($5.35!) WOOHOO. Cheap, but you have no drinks and fries. OMG, SHAKER FRIES! YAYYY! it's back. Heheh. I wish they had the original flavours tho. :O I wonder if I am having moodswings. I think people with schizophrenia is cool but yet freaky at the same time. :) Yakult didnt help me in digesting well. :( I was so desperate i drank yakult of a flavour i didnt like. :(

Nownow, this is a (as i thought) quite a long post already. I hope Tm digest these stupid info about me just like how yakult 'helped' in digesting. Goodnight. It's 3.29AM. Fyeah. Bye.